No Greater Love
by WickedForGood13
Summary: A 3-part saga detailing the aftermath of LWW, PC, and VODT. Lots of hurt/comfort, and brotherly fluff! NO INCEST!
1. LWW

**Hi everyone. To those waiting for me to update 'Taking Turns,' I apologize, for this story took over and wouldn't leave me alone. I've become slightly obsessed with brother fics lately. This is my first attempt at writing Peter/ Edmund (no incest). I hope I do their character justice. Enjoy!**

**Nominated for the Western Wood's People's Choice Awards; Categories: "Best 'Bromance' or Brother fic (no incest)" and "Best New Narnia Author."**

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><p>"WHAT WOULD YOU KNOW? YOU'RE A TRAITOR!" yelled Peter.<p>

It was approaching the anniversary of the White Witch's defeat and everyone was on edge, Peter and Edmund more so than anyone.

Peter's words echoed in the vast chamber, leaving its two occupants in stunned silence.

Edmund's face crumpled. He felt as though he'd just been punched in the gut.

His brother…the High King…his hero had just broached a subject that even a year later, Edmund was still coming to terms with.

Despite having been forgiven following his return to Aslan's camp, and having had a rather stilted conversation with each of his siblings concerning his actions, Edmund still suffered from nightmares of being in the Witch's clutches, though he made sure that no one knew of the countless times he had woken up screaming and drenched in sweat. He'd caused everyone enough trouble. He didn't need anyone checking on him in the middle of the night, watching him as though he were about to break. If anything, he felt he deserved the nightmares, in addition to the scars he had sustained, as punishment for the anguish he had caused Peter, Susan, and Lucy, not to mention the countless Narnians who had suffered under the Witch's tyranny.

Edmund's betrayal still plagued him. Though no one mentioned it, he could still feel the stares and almost sense the whispers following him, though he never realized that these were all in his mind. To make up for his earlier actions, he threw himself into the work it took to run a country, hoping to prove to everyone that he was deserving of his title, 'King Edmund, the Just.' Many nights found him in his study, reviewing treaties and other diplomatic papers. He would often skip meals and go without sleep, all in the hopes of convincing everyone, himself included, that he had changed.

Stunned at the low blow he'd just been dealt, Edmund turned and ran, devastated at learning what Peter really thought of him.

Peter watched him go, noticing the sheen of tears in his brother's eyes. If Edmund had chanced to look back, he would have seen tears staining Peter's own cheeks, as well as his brother reaching out for him, imploring him to return.

_Dear Aslan, what have I done?_ thought Peter. _The look on his face…it was as though I had physically assaulted him._

* * *

><p>Edmund ran, not caring where he ended up. Tears blinded him, stinging his eyes. When his breath came in short, shallow gasps, Edmund slowed, before finally stopping. Taking in his surroundings, Edmund realized that he was in the forest, meaning that he'd somehow evaded the guards and made his way outside the palace walls.<p>

Lowering himself to the ground, Edmund sat at the base of a tree and leaned against it so as to feel something, even if it was pain from the rough bark digging into his back.

_Physical pain is preferable to emotional pain,_ Edmund thought. _Physical pain eventually leaves you, while emotional pain lingers, rearing its ugly head when you least expect._

Pulling his knife from his boot, Edmund began to toy with it, searching for a distraction from the reason for his mad dash away from Cair Paravel.

_Why would Peter bring up my past? He knows the effect the Witch had, and continues to have, on me…doesn't he?_

Edmund didn't know what to think anymore. His thoughts were in turmoil. He cared for his sisters, of course, but Peter…Peter was special. Though brothers, Peter was, first and foremost, his leader, commanding Edmund's unconditional respect and admiration. Edmund practically worshipped the ground that Peter walked on, having always looked up to him, even back in England. But his devotion had increased tenfold since coming to Narnia. That's why Peter's words stung, leaving Edmund at a loss as to what to do.

"Aslan, help me to find forgiveness in my brother's heart for whatever transgression of mine has hurt him."

The moment Edmund had finished speaking, he felt a cool breeze, sweet and gentle, blow against his face and ruffle his hair. When he opened his eyes, he was greeted by the sight of Aslan standing before him.

Tucking his knife back into his boot, Edmund rose. "Oh, Aslan!" he cried, throwing himself at the Lion and sobbing into his mane.

"There, there, dear one," said Aslan.

"Aslan, why would Peter act in such a way and say the things he has? Is it something I've done? Will he ever love me as I love him? I thought things were improving. We've felt more like a family this last year than we ever did in England."

"Hush, child," said Aslan soothingly. "Dry your eyes."

Reluctantly, Edmund pulled away, drawing out a handkerchief that Susan insisted her siblings carry with them at all times.

Having cried till there were no more tears, Edmund's eyes felt raw, and he was sure that they were red and puffy as well.

"I cannot show you the secrets of your brother's heart, dear one. That is a discovery you must make on your own," said Aslan. "What I can surmise is that your brother is distressed. It is approaching the one-year mark since the White Witch's defeat and he is most likely remembering your departure and subsequent rescue, as well as the claim on your blood and your sacrifice on the battlefield, all of which were the result of you having been deceived by Jadis upon first entering Narnia."

"But why throw the past in my face in the heat of a fight?"

"That is something that only your brother can answer, Edmund," replied Aslan gravely. "Now go to him. Apologize for running away and talk about what has been troubling the both of you. Once the past has been set right, the future will hold a better promise for all of Narnia."

"Thank you, Aslan," said Edmund, bowing low to the majestic Lion.

"No—thank _you_, Son of Adam, for having justified my faith in you." Then Aslan inclined his head as a show of respect for the Just King.

As Edmund turned to leave, Aslan's voice halted him. "You may doubt your worth, King Edmund, and you may wonder how the people can follow one who was once a traitor. But believe me, it is because they see what I already knew, even before laying eyes on you, that you were one who would rule justly and wisely."

Aslan's words still ringing in his ears, Edmund's eyes flew open and he realized that it had all been a dream.

_No, not a dream, but a vision,_ Edmund corrected himself as he staggered to his feet.

Setting off for the castle, Edmund wondered how best to approach Peter, considering that their last encounter had been less than pleasant.

Breaking through the line of trees marking the forest's beginning, Edmund walked slowly across the open field that separated the forest from Cair Paravel. He was sure that he must have been spotted by now, yet no one came out to meet him.

Edmund hadn't gone far when there was a clap of thunder, followed by a burst of lightening, and a rainstorm suddenly threatened to drown him. He accepted the deluge with all the dignity of his position, viewing the storm as Aslan's way of cleansing him of his past sins, allowing him to make a fresh start with his family and his people.

Arriving at a gate situated along the palace walls, partially concealed by vines, Edmund slipped in through one of the servant's entrances and made his way through the surprisingly deserted corridors.

It wasn't long before Edmund found himself in front of the doors to his own chambers, which were being personally guarded by Peter, who Edmund found to be pacing back and forth.

"My King," he sighed, sinking wearily to his knees and bowing his head.

"Oh, Ed," murmured Peter, taking in his brother's wet and shivering form.

Peter knelt in front of Edmund and pulled him into a sitting position, practically cradling him against his chest in an effort to keep him warm. After a moment, he rose to his feet, only to immediately bend over and effortlessly scooping Edmund up in his arms, bridal-style.

Edmund reacted instinctively, wrapping his arms around his brother's neck and holding on as though Peter were a lifeline.

Kicking the doors open, Peter entered and deposited Edmund on a nearby chair. Quickly, he fetched some fresh clothes and a towel.

Handing all these to his brother, Peter said, with a warm and friendly smile on his face, "Change and dry off. Then we'll talk."

"As my King commands, I obey," replied Edmund dutifully.

"Ed…," said Peter, warning him against using his title in such a manner.

"Sorry," Edmund muttered, offering him a sheepish smile.

He retreated to the bathroom to do as Peter said, trying his best to pull himself together before their impending 'talk.'

Having finished, he opened the door, only to find himself in Peter's arms, engulfed in a hug he'd not experienced since his first time being revived on the battlefield.

"Lion's Mane, Ed, you had me worried," Peter confessed as he walked towards the bed, Edmund in tow, where he situated himself, then Edmund, comfortably against the pillows.

"Why?" asked Edmund, genuinely confused.

"You're my brother. Isn't that reason enough for me to be worried when you run off like you did?"

"About that—I'd like to apologize for my behavior and beg your forgiveness," said Edmund, once more bowing his head as he awaited his brother's judgment.

Peter captured Edmund's chin in his hand, tilting his head up so that they were face-to-face. "Nonsense, Ed. You have nothing to apologize for. If anything, _I_ should be begging _your_ forgiveness. I was a beast, and you were perfectly justified in running away from me."

Edmund smiled faintly at him, choosing to respond by laying his head on Peter's shoulder.

"I'll forgive you, if you'll forgive me," he said.

"Of course I forgive you, Ed. Do you forgive me?"

"Yes, Peter, I forgive you."

Edmund nestled further into Peter's side, his emotional crisis having drained him of all energy.

"G'night, Pete," he murmured.

"Good night, Eddy," Peter replied quietly, planting a soft kiss on his brother's head. He knew that there would be more to talk about when Edmund awoke, for they'd only scratched the surface of what was bothering them. For now, though, Peter let himself go, basking in the knowledge that his brother was safe in his arms.

_And that's where he'll stay—I'm never letting him go again,_ Peter vowed, his arms tightening protectively around Edmund before he, too, fell asleep.

* * *

><p>"No," Edmund moaned. "Not Peter. Take me. I'm worth less."<p>

Peter woke quickly at these words, and at the feel of Edmund struggling within his arms. He immediately moved to shake his brother, attempting to wake him from whatever terrible dream seemed to be plaguing him.

Edmund's eyes flew open, darting around wildly before settling on Peter. He shrank back, as though scared that Peter would hit him.

"Ed, it's me," Peter whispered. "I'm not going to hurt you."

Edmund's breathing slowed, though he still remained wary of Peter, watching as his brother re-settled himself next to him on the bed.

"What were you dreaming about?" asked Peter conversationally, hoping that Edmund would open up to him.

At first, Peter thought that Edmund wouldn't respond. Then, "The…Witch," Edmund said at last, stumbling over his words.

Peter's breath hitched at discovering that Edmund's time with Jadis still haunted him.

"She was…threatening you," Edmund revealed, "And the girls. But her main focus was on you."

"Why?" asked Peter, confused.

"She was trying to get to me through you."

"Why would she think that that would work?" asked Peter, sure that Edmund no longer cared for him at all, despite having forgiven him. And even if he did still care, after what Peter had said and done…

"Peter, do you not know what you mean to me? King or not, I swore an oath to always defend and protect you—with my life, if necessary. I would never turn my back on you. I love you."

"So, all those times in battle?" Peter queried, "You weren't merely guarding my back out of duty?"

"Never _solely_ for that reason," replied Edmund. "Love first, duty second. I would die if anything happened to you, Peter."

Peter stared at Edmund in shock for a moment. It had been a long time since they had been so honest with one another. Then, Edmund's words registered and Peter pulled him as close as was possible, almost smothering Edmund in his need to express his gratitude.

As though their correlating words and actions were a sign, the dam to their emotions broke, leaving both boys sobbing.

Neither could understand what the other was blubbering, but eventually their tears slowed and they became coherent once more.

"Edmund, I'm sorry that I was so hard on you before we came to Narnia. I shouldn't have tried to take Dad's place."

"You were only doing what you thought was right. Dad's departure made you the man of the house, in your eyes. You were only trying to live up to your own and everyone else's expectations."

"I never thought you noticed," Peter admitted, stunned at his brother's keen observational skills.

"You're my older brother. I'm going to notice everything about you," Edmund said with a smile. "As for apologies, I'm the one who should be sorry. I was a brat and a bully before Narnia, and once here, I sold you out for Turkish Delight. What kind of a person does that make me? I'm despicable. I don't know what I can do to ever earn your forgiveness—"

Here, Peter interrupted him. "Don't be silly, Ed. We all forgave you the moment you were brought back to camp. You're our brother and we'll stand by you, always."

"Thanks," replied Edmund, a sad, almost resigned, smile gracing his features. "But I have a feeling that my treachery is going to stay with me for a long time. How can the Narnians ever accept a king that had once sided with the Witch?"

Peter was silent for a moment. "You fought the Witch, breaking her wand and, no doubt, saving many lives that would have otherwise been lost. You were ready to die for me, the High King. I think that those actions outweigh past actions caused by lies and false promises. Besides, hasn't Aslan forgiven you?"

At Edmund's nod, Peter smiled. "Well, then. If he felt you worthy of being King of Narnia, then he must have had a good reason. In the meantime, we must move on. It does not do to live in the past and forget about the present."

"Thanks, Pete," said Edmund, moving closer, though his brother could tell that he still wasn't convinced.

"Edmund, do you forgive yourself?" asked Peter suddenly.

Edmund thought for a moment, clasping his hands together and absent-mindedly rubbing his ankles and his wrists, actions that Peter would question him about later.

"No," he replied truthfully. "I can accept that others have forgiven me, but I wonder at their reasons for doing so. You, Susan, Lucy, Mr. Tumnus, even Aslan…how can I be worthy of anyone's forgiveness after the things I've done, not just in this world, but in England as well? Aslan assures me that my past has been forgotten, but I can't help but feel that there are those who still judge me, despite my attempts at proving that my faith and love for Narnia and for Aslan is pure and true."

"No one doubts that, Ed. Do you think that your family has been the only ones to notice when you shut yourself away so as to remain focused on whatever affairs of state claim your attention? Or how hard you train, night and day? Everyone sees and knows the lengths you would go to protect your family and your country. I'm proud of you, Ed, as is everyone who remembers the sullen little boy who first came here. Now, all they see is a wise and just king who they would lay down their lives for, myself included, for I would do anything to ensure your safety."

Edmund threw himself at Peter, collapsing in his arms and sobbing. He was left gasping for air as Peter rubbed his back in soothing circles.

"Is that what you really think, Peter?" he asked, looking up at his older brother with eyes shining of hope and unwavering trust.

"Yes, Edmund, I swear to you that what I've spoken is the truth."

"Then why did you throw the past in my face, if, in reality, you actually care about me? I thought you hated me. I felt worthless, as though I would always be nothing, always seen as the traitor-turned-king of Narnia, the person I was then, rather than the person I am now…"

Edmund's voice trailed off as he was overcome by tears again. Peter's heart broke to look at him, knowing that he was the cause of his brother's emotional anguish.

Sensing that Edmund would rather his head remain buried in his chest for the time being, Peter contented himself with wrapping his arms tightly around him, stroking his hair and continuing to rub his back in circular motions.

"Ed, I've been uneasy for a while now. It's almost been a year since the Witch's defeat, and all I can see is you laying on the battlefield in a pool of blood…all I can see is your face marred by bruises upon your arrival at Aslan's camp, your split lip….my dreams have been haunted by 'what ifs:' what if Lucy's cordial hadn't worked? What if the rescue party hadn't reached the Witch's camp in time? These 'what ifs' always result in your death…and mine too, for I would die if anything ever happened to you. I never meant to take out my anxieties on you. All I can do is beg your forgiveness and assure you that no one is better suited to rule Narnia than you, Ed."

Tear tracks running down his cheeks, Edmund chanced a glance up at Peter to find his brother's eyes swimming with unshed tears.

"Oh, Pete…," Edmund murmured. "Why didn't you come and talk to me? I would have listened, as well as reassured you that I'm alive and well. Aslan, himself, said something similar when I encountered him in the woods. He said that you were on edge because of the upcoming anniversary of the Witch's defeat, and that you might be remembering my part in the battle that brought about her downfall."

"You saw Aslan?" Peter exclaimed.

"Yes. It was after running out on you. I'd made it to the woods and sat down, playing with my knife. When I looked up, there he was. I ran and hugged him." Edmund decided to leave out the fact that he'd been crying. "He explained to me as to why you could possibly be upset and instructed me to return and apologize for running away, then to discuss what had been troubling us. As I turned to leave, he told me that no matter my own insecurities, he and the people of Narnia saw a wise and just ruler, worthy of being king. Then, I opened my eyes and realized that our conversation had been a vision. I set off at once for Cair Paravel, only to be drenched by a sudden rainstorm. And now, here I am, with you."

Edmund, whose hands were being firmly gripped by Peter, had been playing with their fingers as he spoke. He was pulled from his reverie by Peter getting up to kneel by the bedside.

Keeping their hands clasped, Peter spoke, eyes locked on Edmund, "Hear this, brother. I pledge to you that my sword and my life are at your disposal. If you have been wronged, depend on me to avenge you. If you are troubled, let me share the burden and be your strength. If you need to talk, I'll lend a willing ear. I will always be here for you, this I swear on our bond as brothers and as kings."

Entranced, Edmund swung his legs over the bed and joined Peter on the floor, hands still joined.

"Now hear me, brother mine," he murmured. "I so swear as well, to be by your side through thick and thin. Brothers and kings, till the end of time."

Having sworn to be ever faithful to one another, the brothers embraced, sharing a look that told more than words could.

They clambered back on the bed, quickly coming together as Edmund curled into his brother's side and Peter wrapped a protective arm around Edmund.

"Do you really think so little of yourself?" asked Peter after a while, breaking the silence that had settled over them.

"What do you mean?" Edmund was puzzled.

"In your dream," Peter explained, "you said you were worthless."

"No, I said I was worth _less_ than you. There's a difference—although your interpretation is true too. Either way, I'm expendable. You and the girls aren't. Narnia needs you. And if I can atone for my past mistakes by taking a blow for the girls or by dying in your place, then so be it."

"You're wrong," declared Peter, incredulous at his brother's lack of self-esteem. "There's a reason Cair Paravel houses four thrones, a reason the prophecy called for two Sons of Adam and two Daughters of Eve. We each bring something unique that is necessary to rule. You are just as important to Narnia as I am, or as Susan and Lucy are. Please, believe me. Besides, you say that Narnia doesn't need you. Whether that's true or not, have you ever considered that _I_ need you? That Susan and Lucy need you? You're as much a part of this family as the rest of us."

Edmund remained silent, still doubtful. In response, Peter pulled him even closer so that he was resting practically in Peter's lap.

"I know your faith in me has been shaken. I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you and convincing you of your worth. As a person, as a brother, and as a king, there are none who can match you, Edmund."

"Thanks, Pete," said Edmund, giving a contented sigh and reaching up to kiss his brother's cheek. "I'm starting to believe."

Returning to his previous position, in which he was using Peter's chest as a pillow, Edmund prepared to drift off to sleep, only for Peter's voice to call him back.

"Ed, I couldn't help noticing earlier that you were rubbing your wrists and your ankles. Why was that?"

Edmund froze. He'd hoped to never have to reveal to anyone how scarred he truly was. Reluctantly, Edmund sat up and, with great effort, pulled away from Peter.

Once upright, he turned to face his brother. Wordlessly, he pushed up the sleeves of his pajama top and the legs of his pajama pants to reveal the scars he had sustained from his time with Jadis.

Motioning to both, he said, "The rope she used to tie me up was tight enough that it left a permanent mark, as did the shackles she put on my ankles while I was in her dungeon."

"And what of these?" pressed Peter, voice choked with emotion as he gestured to several long scars covering Edmund's legs.

"The dwarf serving her had a whip that—after abandoning the sleigh in our pursuit of you—he used to 'encourage' me to move faster."

Peter's face hardened at learning that his little brother had been purposely harmed.

"It was nothing less than I deserved," Edmund continued, "If not for betraying the Witch's side, then for betraying you and Aslan."

"No, Ed, never think that," pleaded Peter. "You are a _good_ person. You were just misled, misguided."

Edmund was, again, silent, waiting for the inevitable question that was sure to come.

"Why _did_ you follow her, Edmund?" Peter finally asked.

Edmund thought about how best to word his answer.

"I was lonely," he said at last. "She treated me as though I were somebody special. She flattered me. I'd been feeling left out and forgotten by everyone, even though I knew, deep down, that that was because I was being a brat. I just…I wanted some attention. She promised to make me a king, all on my own, without fear of living in your shadow. I've always felt that you were the golden boy, the one who got everything that I ever wanted. I've moved past that, and I certainly don't begrudge you the position of High King, but at the time, you being everyone's 'favorite' was more than I could bear."

Peter was sure that Edmund would have given a nonchalant shrug if it weren't for Peter's own vice-like grip on his shoulders.

"I'm sorry you ever felt that way, Ed. I'm sorry that _I_ ever made you feel that way, however unintentional. But what's done is done," he said firmly. "I want you to forgive yourself and try to move on. I don't expect you to forget. That would be disregarding all the good that Narnia has done for you, and the changes that you've undergone. Forgiving yourself is the key to finding happiness and healing, Ed. Promise me you'll try."

"I promise, Peter," said Edmund.

"Thank you," he replied, giving a sigh of relief. "I don't like to see you beating yourself up over past events that couldn't be helped. My heart breaks at the sight of you in pain, for we are family and I feel what you feel."

"I know, Pete," Edmund murmured sleepily, "for I feel exactly the same way about you. On the day of our coronation, you looked every inch the part of Narnia's High King and I knew then that I would follow you to the world's end. You're my brother and my king, and I love you."

With that, Edmund settled himself comfortably into Peter's arms, finally allowing sleep to claim him.

"Good night, Ed. Sleep well," Peter whispered softly into his hair. "I love you too, little brother."

* * *

><p>The next morning, the two brothers walked into the breakfast hall side by side, Peter being sure to keep his arm securely fastened around Edmund for support.<p>

Their sisters, knowing nothing about their brothers' disagreement the other day, greeted them enthusiastically.

With a whispered conversation, Peter explained about Edmund's breakdown the previous day, and Susan and Lucy were quick to follow their brother's lead in swearing to always be there for Edmund, whether he needed them or not.

That same day, Peter ordered for his belongings to be moved into Edmund's room, intuition telling him that his brother had nightmares more often than he let on. The move would also allow him to keep an eye on Edmund and be sure that he got to bed at a decent hour, in addition to guarding his brother's sleep.

Over the years of the Pevensie's reign, Edmund would occasionally have bouts of depression of which Peter was the only cure to.

The brothers never forgot their oaths of allegiance to each other, though Peter lost his way for a time. Following their return from Narnia for a second time, Edmund sat down with him and had a long discussion about his behavior over the past year and Peter apologized for the pain he had once again caused Edmund.

As they lay in each other's arms, enjoying the peace that forgiveness brought, Peter said incredulously, "You've always believed in me, haven't you?"

"Always," Edmund replied, firm in his conviction that there was good in all people, Peter more so than anyone.

The brothers renewed their vows, from that day on, never again to forget the power of family.


	2. PC

**Nominated for the Western Wood's People's Choice Awards; Categories: "Best 'Bromance' or Brother fic (no incest)" and "Best New Narnia Author."**

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><p>The train rumbled on but the Pevensies sat in silence. The two elder siblings were in shock and the younger two chose to leave them to their thoughts.<p>

After boarding and having made some remark about having lost his torch in Narnia, Edmund joined Lucy on the bench opposite Peter and Susan.

Peter sat looking out the window with disinterest, while Susan stared straight ahead confusedly, as though she were trying to solve a perplexing problem.

Edmund and Lucy shared a glance, but followed their siblings' lead and remained quiet.

The train slowed as it pulled into the station.

"This is our stop, Su," said Lucy, getting up and grabbing both of their suitcases from the shelf above.

Wordlessly, Susan got up and took her suitcase from Lucy. Remaining silent, she gave both Edmund and Peter a hug before departing.

Lucy followed suit, squeezing her brothers so tightly they thought they would burst.

"Look after Peter," she whispered to Edmund. Raising her voice to address Peter as well, she said, "Don't worry about Susan. I'll look after her."

"Of course you will," said Edmund confidently when it became apparent that Peter wasn't going to say anything. "Take care of yourself, Lu, and remember that we love you."

"I love you two too," said Lucy, and then she was gone.

Left on their own, Edmund observed his brother and tried to figure out how best to approach Peter's silence.

Before he could even open his mouth, though, the car door opened and the young man in glasses who had called Susan 'Phyllis' appeared.

"Do you mind?" he asked, motioning inside and indicating that he would like to sit. "Everywhere else is full."

Edmund only nodded curtly, moving to sit by Peter.

After setting his luggage on the shelf above, the boy sat regarding the brothers.

Edmund leaned against Peter, hoping to at least pretend to sleep so that the other boy wouldn't try talking to them. He felt Peter stiffen, even as he accepted Edmund's weight.

_Yet another thing to talk to Peter about,_ thought Edmund to himself. _Why would he tense at my touch?_

Edmund shrugged his brother's behavior off and sat resting, wishing that he could read Peter's mind so as to better understand what was troubling him.

Luckily for the two boys, the other traveler in their compartment took the hint and said nothing. When the train pulled into the station, he was the first one off.

Edmund, realizing that Peter was in no condition to think for himself, pulled both of their suitcases down from the luggage rack and guided Peter off the train.

They joined the throng of boys streaming towards the school gates, only separating when they were forced to go to their own class tables to have dinner.

As Edmund shoveled down food, distractedly conversing with his classmates, he maintained eye contact with Peter.

At first, it looked as though Peter wouldn't eat anything. At the urging of the boys surrounding him, though, he ate a little, enough to satisfy Edmund and convince him that it was time they went to their room and talked.

Pushing his plate away, Edmund rose and made his way out of the dining hall.

Having been paying as close attention to Edmund as Edmund had been paying to him, Peter rose as well and had soon joined Edmund in the hallway.

They made their way in silence, glad to be each other's cure to the nightmares that had accompanied their first return from Narnia which led them to sharing a room.

Edmund unlocked the door, bowing low before Peter and making a sweeping gesture with his arm.

"After you, my lord High King," he said with a smile, glancing up through his lashes at Peter. What he saw shocked him, though, for Peter's eyes reflected such pain and sorrow that Edmund was taken aback.

Touching a hand to Edmund's cheek in a gentle caress, Peter entered the room, Edmund following close behind, immediately shutting the door and locking it.

Peter moved to sit on his bed, resting his head in his hands in an attempt to hide from Edmund.

"Don't do this, Pete," said Edmund, kneeling in front of him and pulling his hands away from his face. "What are you thinking? Tell me, please."

Speaking for the first time, Peter said, "How can you stand being near me?"

"What?" asked Edmund, stunned. Of all the things for Peter to say, that was one of the last things Edmund had been expecting.

"I'm not worthy of the title 'High King'—I don't deserve it," Peter went on. "I've acted less like a king on this past trip to Narnia, and during this past year, than I ever acted before even knowing about Narnia."

"That's true," said Edmund, glad to know that Peter realized how unseemly his behavior had been and deciding that the best approach was to be brutally frank with Peter, rather than sugar-coat the truth. "Why was that?"

"I was angry," came the instant reply. "I felt as though I'd been kicked out of my own home. I felt as though Aslan had abandoned us, and in abandoning us, had made us abandon our people. Then, to come back and find Narnia completely different, and to discover that we'd been called back to put Caspian on the throne as High King…I felt misplaced. I've been struggling with how to deal with being treated like a kid in our world, and then felt that my position and experience were being unappreciated and deemed unnecessary in Narnia…Edmund, I'm lost. I haven't known how to ask for help, being unaccustomed to needing any, and you suffered for it."

"How have I suffered?" asked Edmund gently.

"I dragged you into fights that I should have been able to handle on my own, or not at all. I fell off my high horse, so to speak, and I brought you down with me. I've been pushing you away, when I should have been keeping you close, safe from harm. Instead, I caused you more harm than anyone."

"Did you expect me to stand idly by and watch while you were unnecessarily beaten? Peter, I never did anything I didn't want to do," said Edmund. "All those times I came to your defense…I did so because you are family, and I will fight for you to the death."

"You shouldn't feel that way. I don't deserve it," Peter muttered, barely holding back tears.

"And why is that?" asked Edmund.

"I let everyone down. Here, in England, I wanted to be treated with the respect I felt I was due, lashing out when, instead, I was treated like a kid. In Narnia, I thought I knew everything. _I_ wanted to be the one to lead us to Aslan's How. _I_ wanted to be the one to lead the night raid and have it be successful. Instead, _I_ sentenced all those soldiers to die!"

"That could have happened to anyone, Pete. Haven't you led raids that were unsuccessful before, back when we were in Narnia the first time?"

"Yes, but my failure was in not calling this one off when I had the chance."

"Everyone makes mistakes, Pete."

"And then to blame Caspian for my own arrogance…," Peter's voice trailed off, lost in thought.

Edmund still knelt before Peter, holding his hands and squeezing them reassuringly. "It's natural to not want to take responsibility for a disaster of that magnitude," he said, before falling silent once more, waiting in suspense for what must surely be at the root of Peter's reluctance to meet his eyes.

Peter spoke again, "You keep making excuses for my behavior. Can you excuse the fact that I almost released the White Witch, despite knowing the extent of her evilness, despite having sworn that she wouldn't touch another member of our family, that I wouldn't let her harm _you_ again?"

"Peter, I, more than anyone, know of the White Witch's power…The way her eyes can hypnotize…The way her voice can entrance and entice. You are _not_ to blame for being tempted. Our first time in Narnia, _I_ was the one who was drawn in by her lies, leaving _you_ to be the strong one. Now, it's my turn to be there for you. Let me."

"Why should you care," murmured Peter brokenly, "when I haven't been there for you?"

"That's beside the point," said Edmund. "You're here now. _My_ Peter is back. And I intend to keep you with me."

"I'm not going anywhere, Ed," said Peter, fervently, "not this time."

Edmund remained silent. Peter had made promises before that had been broken, and they both knew it. He rose abruptly to his feet, startling Peter who thought he was leaving, leaving before Peter hurt him even more. Instead, Edmund simply took off his shoes and made himself comfortable on Peter's bed.

"Let it out, Pete," he urged quietly. "No one's here to see or hear or judge. Let go."

Peter hesitantly lowered himself so that he was lying next to Edmund, needing no further encouragement to release the pent up emotions from the last year and depending on Edmund in a way he never had before.

As he sobbed into Edmund chest, and felt Edmund's soothing touch through his hair and along his back, he was reminded of a similar situation from their first year in Narnia, where he had been the comforter and Edmund the comforted. Now their positions were reversed.

Edmund, meanwhile, offered no reproach, merely held Peter and allowed him to stain his shirt with his tears.

Before falling asleep, the last thing Peter was aware of was Edmund leaning over to plant a light kiss on his forehead.

* * *

><p>When Peter opened his eyes, he was in a very familiar forest.<p>

"Welcome, Son of Adam," came a voice nearby, also familiar to the former High King.

Peter ran, throwing his arms around the great Lion's neck and weeping, unashamedly, into Aslan's magnificent mane.

"Oh, Aslan," he sobbed. "I've hurt Edmund so much over the past year, yet he still manages to forgive and forget. Why is that, when he should hate me for living?"

"Peter," began Aslan, gently, "what did your brother want, more than anything, upon his rescue from the Witch?"

Peter shrugged. He and Edmund had discussed the events leading up to their first battle many times, as Edmund was often overcome by guilt and would need Peter's reassurance that all was forgiven…

"Forgiveness," Peter realized.

"Correct. And who's did he desire?" asked the Lion.

At this, Peter was unsure. He shrugged again.

"His family's," answered Aslan. "Specifically, _your_ forgiveness, for he values you above all others."

"But why?" Peter exclaimed. "What am I to him?"

"You are his brother," said Aslan, "and the bonds of brotherhood go much deeper than many realize. It is for this reason that he forgives your transgressions over this past year and is willing to forget them. Tell me, Peter, do you hold his earlier betrayal against him?"

"No, of course not," said Peter. "The moment I saw him in camp, all I felt was relief that he was alive."

"Couldn't the same be true of Edmund—that he forgives you because he is glad that you are alive?"

"I shouldn't be," said Peter, morosely. "I lost faith in you and I sentenced all those soldiers in the night raid to die. I was their king; I should have died with them."

At hearing this, Aslan gave a ferocious growl, and Peter was suddenly so afraid of the Lion that he fell to his knees and bowed his head. "You were lost, and now you are found. Death is a part of any war, Peter. You should honor those that fought bravely and died valiantly by living on in their memory and ensuring that their death was not in vain."

"Yes, Aslan," replied Peter.

"Look at me, my Son," said Aslan, voice much gentler.

Slowly, Peter raised his head to find the Lion looking at him with such tenderness that he suddenly found himself fighting back tears again.

"You have learned all you can from Narnia, Peter. That is why you will never return. You have not done anything wrong, as your sister Lucy was quick to ask. Rather, you have done something right. Narnia's teachings have prepared you for finding me in your world."

"Are you in England too, Aslan? Truly?" asked Peter, joy flooding his features at the realization that he wasn't to be deserted.

As if reading his thoughts, Aslan said, "I watch over all creatures in both Narnia and your world, dear heart. You will never be alone, for I am with you, always."

"Oh, thank you, Aslan," said Peter.

"Peter, you've come to me because you are looking for something. Have you found it?" asked Aslan.

"Yes, Aslan, I think I have."

"Then it is time for you to return to your brother's side. Remember, Peter, seek and you will find. I am never far."

"I won't forget, Aslan," Peter promised.

* * *

><p>With a start, Peter's eyes shot open and he found himself back at school in England, in his and Edmund's room, with his brother pressed firmly against his side.<p>

He pulled Edmund even closer so that he was practically on top of Peter's chest, grateful for his brother's forgiving nature and willingness to give him another chance.

"Wha—?" Edmund mumbled sleepily as Peter's arms tightened around him. "Oh, Pete, what is it?" he asked, immediately alert to his brother's distress.

"I'm picking up where we left off in Narnia," said Peter resolutely. "Edmund, you've always been there for me, and I haven't been as appreciative as I should have been. From now on, though, I'll be there for you, whether you want me or not—"

"I'll always want you," Edmund interrupted.

"And I won't get into anymore fights and leave you to clean up the mess," finished Peter, somehow managing to tighten his arms even more around Edmund, effectively pinning him to his chest. "I'll do my best to be someone you can rely on."

Edmund enthusiastically returned Peter's hug, grateful for the show of affection and reliving the look they had shared before rushing into the fray that was Miraz's army. In that moment, they had understood each other completely and were of one mind—for Narnia and for Aslan, side by side and back to back, just like old times.

Overcome with joy at having his brother back (and in one piece), Edmund began to cry.

Momentarily stunned, but not that surprised, Peter held him closer and let Edmund stain his shirt with tears.

After several minutes of sobbing—each gasp for air was like a knife being twisted again and again into Peter's heart—Edmund's breathing returned to normal and he collapsed even further into Peter's chest, his energy being completely spent.

"Feel better?" asked Peter, who had continued to soothingly rub circles into Edmund's back, like he had all those years before in Narnia when Edmund would have a nightmare and come to Peter for comfort.

Taking a shaky breath before shooting Peter a watery smile, Edmund nodded. "Much," he replied. "And you?"

"Yes, I'm feeling better too," said Peter, his face lighting up with a genuine smile for the first time in over a year. "Can I ask—why were you crying so hard?" Peter was hesitant to know, but felt that he must. He owed it to Edmund as his brother and as his king to know what was troubling him.

"I'm just so glad to have you back," said Edmund simply, smiling more encouragingly now. "I won't pretend that I wasn't hurt by your actions over this past year, but to have you back…," his voice trailed off. "I just had a lot of pent up emotions that needed to be let out."

"I'm sorry I made you cry, Edmund. I can't apologize enough times for what I must have put you through lately, and I thank Aslan that you have a generous nature and are willing to give me another chance."

"Peter, my love for you is unconditional," said Edmund. "I will always support you, even when you seem to be floundering, for you are my other half, and without you, I'm lost."

"Oh, Ed…," Peter whispered. Had he been standing, Edmund's simple faith and implicit trust in him would have sent him to his knees in shame, for he felt undeserving of having such a brother as Edmund, having been unintentionally maligning Edmund over the past year.

Lost in thought, he almost missed the kiss that Edmund planted firmly on his cheek, then on his forehead, then on his other cheek.

"You have been my king for many years now, Peter, and while it is my duty to stand by you in all things, no matter what my personal opinion in the matter may be, it is a duty that I take great pleasure in, for there is no one who understands me better. In you, I've found a brother, a father, a playmate, and, most important of all, a best friend."

Peter looked up at Edmund, who was balanced precariously on his chest, adoringly.

"You've stood by me, all this time…what have I ever done to deserve such a wonderful brother as you?"

Edmund smiled tolerantly at Peter's self-doubt, and settled his head once more on his brother's shoulder.

They lay there in silence for several minutes, before Peter's nagging guilt drove him to disturb their peace.

"Ed," he began, "What did those boys do to you, at the train station, when you jumped in to save me?"

"Nothing much," said Edmund, attempting to deflect Peter, for he knew that he would eventually want to see the damage.

"It's been a few days, Narnia time, for any bruises to have developed. Can I see?"

"Who said there were bruises?" Edmund managed a weak laugh.

"Ed…," said Peter warningly.

Resigned, Edmund slid off of Peter and stood up. He shed his blazer, then his tie, and finally, his white button-down shirt.

Peter gasped at the sight—Edmund's torso was littered with bruises.

"I can't imagine that you look any better," Edmund remarked to break the tension, feeling uncomfortable under his brother's close scrutiny, for Peter had risen to his feet and was circling him, tentatively touching various bruises.

"Ed…," Peter whispered, close to tears as he remembered other fights where Edmund had come to his defense. "Has this happened often?"

Edmund gave a non-committal shrug, but Peter could see through him and knew the answer was 'yes.'

"Now it's your turn, Pete," said Edmund, motioning that he should remove his shirt and blazer.

Peter was quick to comply and the two boys stood regarding each other's battle scars, both from their world and from Narnia.

"I'm sorry, Ed, I'm sorry," Peter whispered over and over, head hung in shame.

Edmund was by his side in an instant, wrapping his arms around Peter and supporting him, just as he'd always sworn to do. He guided Peter back over to the bed and eased him into a sitting position on the mattress.

"It's alright, Pete. It's over. I think…perhaps it was all part of Aslan's plan, to show that if we put our trust in him, we will never be alone."

"Why do you say 'we?' _I'm_ the one who lost faith and lost sight of the big picture. _I'm_ the one who left Aslan's teachings behind in Narnia and forgot to apply them to our world. How can you include yourself in my failures?"

"I had my own moments of weakness, Pete. We all did. Lucy, Su, and I—we were confused. We thought we'd be in Narnia forever. To leave, and be unsure of when we were returning, if ever, that frightened us. I can't speak for the girls, but in my darkest hour, I saw it as a delayed punishment for siding with Jadis."

He shushed Peter's involuntary sounds of protest.

"I never felt as though I really suffered for my betrayal, at least, not by your hands or by anyone else's on our side. You, the girls, and Aslan all forgave me so easily. I didn't have to work to gain your trust again, which I felt as if I should have had to do. When we came back to England through the wardrobe, I thought it fitting, especially since I'd originally planned on searching for the stag alone. If that had been the case, I would have been the only one sent back and the rest of you wouldn't have had to suffer because of me."

"That's nonsense, Ed," said Peter, finally breaking into Edmund's self-deprecating tirade. "The separation is what would have made us suffer."

"That's sweet, Pete, but I don't believe it. You and the girls would be better off without me."

"Not true," argued Peter. "If anything, you and the girls would be better off without me."

Edmund stared at him incredulously. "How can you say that?" he exclaimed.

"I haven't been much of a brother this past year, have I? Not to Lucy or Susan…and definitely not to you!"

"We understood, Pete," said Edmund. "We knew what you were going through, what we _all_ were going through."

"That makes it all the worse. I should have been there for you and the girls. We should have been adjusting together. Instead, I abandoned you, the same way I abandoned Narnia and Aslan."

"Peter, listen to me—we forgive you," Edmund said, holding Peter's face between his hands and forcing Peter to look at him. "_I_ forgive you," he added, remembering how his one wish whenever he made a mistake was for Peter's forgiveness. Perhaps the same was true of Peter himself.

Peter bowed his head at hearing the words his brother spoke. Edmund held him close and allowed Peter to bury his head in his bare chest, not even flinching when Peter came into contact with a rather painful bruise.

As Peter's breathing evened out, Edmund spoke again. "You've seen Aslan, haven't you?"

"Yes, I have. I had a dream, or a vision, you might call it, and he was there. He was wonderful and terrible, all at once. I expressed my concern for you and how I'd been treating you and Aslan showed me the light. He said how, following your rescue, my forgiveness was all you ever craved because you valued me above all others."

Edmund stared straight ahead, slightly embarrassed at having the secret of his feelings for Peter being shared.

Peter continued, "I went on to berate myself for losing faith in him and leading those soldiers to their death. When I said that as their king, I should have died with them, he growled so ferociously that I momentarily feared for my life, and I knelt before him. He softened and told me to look at him, that I'd learned all that Narnia had to teach me. Then he told me that I would never be alone, for he watches over all creatures, both in Narnia and in our world. When I opened my eyes, I was back here."

"Aslan works in mysterious ways, my brother," Edmund murmured softly, "but he is good."

The two spent a few moments lost in their own thoughts, before Edmund moved to smooth Peter's hair from his brow.

"How do you feel?" he asked tenderly.

"As though a tremendous weight has been lifted from me," replied Peter. "Thank you, Edmund, for listening and offering support. I appreciate it."

"Any time, brother," said Edmund. "And how does it feel, knowing you can never going back?"

"Better than I thought it would," Peter said honestly, knowing instinctively that Edmund was referring to Narnia. "Talking with you has helped, and seeing Aslan one last time…" He sighed contentedly and leaned companionably against Edmund.

Edmund nodded once to himself. _The time has come,_ he thought.

Sliding down from the mattress, he knelt before Peter, who remained seated on the bed and was staring at him in confusion. Taking Peter's hands in his, Edmund cleared his throat and began, "Peter, over the years, you and I have sworn many oaths to each other, as brothers and as kings. Here me now: no matter where our paths may lead, I swear on my life to remain loyal and true to only you, my brother and my king, to honor and obey you in all things. You are the half that completes me. Without you, I am nothing. This I swear, as a knight and king of Narnia, and as a brother."

Falling silent, he bowed his head and brought Peter's hands to his lips, planting a light kiss on the knuckles to signify the completion of his oath.

"Aslan help me to uphold my vows," he murmured softly.

Peter was speechless. This was perhaps the most heartfelt and moving oath either of them had ever sworn to the other. "Ed…," he whispered, overwhelmed with a myriad of emotions.

In that one word, his name, Edmund heard all that Peter was trying to say.

In one fluid motion, Peter was on the ground opposite Edmund, positioned on his knees and clasping Edmund's hands in his, drawing them towards his chest and resting them on his heart.

"Ed—that is possibly the nicest thing you have ever said to me, and I love you dearly for it. I know I don't deserve such a wonderful brother as you. Even with Aslan and everyone else's forgiveness, yours especially, I'm still working on forgiving myself for having lost sight of what it means to be a king of Narnia and for forgetting that I am never alone, least of all when I have you."

He gave a wry laugh. "I now know how it must have felt for you when you returned to Aslan's camp and were forgiven by everyone. I know you've spoken of it with me, how you felt undeserving and unworthy of being placed on the throne, king of the subjects you had betrayed. I feel that way now, because of the night raid, you know…"

"It takes time, Pete," said Edmund.

"I know, Ed, I know, and I'll get there…eventually, just as you did."

They shared a secretive smile, born from years of court life where the ability to speak without words was imperative.

"Now, as you have sworn to remain true to me, I shall swear as much to you. Edmund, my brother and fellow king of Narnia, there is no me without you. I wouldn't have been half the king I was without you, and I wouldn't be half the man I am today if it weren't for you. I swear to stand by you, forever, no matter what. I swear to defend your honor at the slightest provocation. And I swear to always protect you, with my life if necessary. I realize that I haven't been much of a friend or a brother to you this year, but all that is past. I've changed, and in future, I will never leave your side, for I love you, brother mine."

Edmund was left speechless, mouth gaping, as Peter had been following his own oath. Then the two brothers embraced, sharing more through a single touch than any words could ever have expressed.

Unwilling to let go, even for a moment, Edmund and Peter rose as one and climbed back into bed. Pulling the covers up tenderly around their bruised torsos, they rested carefully in each other's arms, glad that everything was out in the open.

"You've always believed in me, haven't you?" asked Peter sleepily, still incredulous at Edmund's ever-constant faith in him.

"Always," Edmund replied.

At peace for once, the two let sleep claim them. They were not plagued by nightmares, and they woke the next morning, refreshed and ready to face new challenges.

* * *

><p>In the days that followed, as their bodies healed from the fights in both of their homelands, so did their minds and their spirits.<p>

They were never apart, and many of their classmates commented on the changes both boys seemed to have undergone.

Though sharing a room, it was some time before Peter and Edmund could bear to separate long enough to sleep in separate beds. Having gone a year without the brotherly comfort they each craved, many nights found them wrapped securely in the other's arms as they both sought to protect the other from various threats, whether real or imaginary.

As Edmund had promised, Peter came to forgive himself, in time, as well as realize that he was worthy of other's forgiveness.

Soon, though, their positions would once more be reversed, and Edmund would find himself in need of his brother's wise counsel as he struggled to come to terms with entering, and leaving behind forever, a Narnia that did not welcome Peter, his other half.


	3. VoDT

**My deepest thanks to HarmonyLover—for her unwavering support and encouragement, and for her permission to borrow the idea of Edmund being deeply affected by Caspian offering him Peter's sword.**

**Nominated for the Western Wood's People's Choice Awards; Categories: "Best 'Bromance' or Brother fic (no incest)" and "Best New Narnia Author."**

* * *

><p>Edmund lay in bed, looking out the window and up at the night sky. His thoughts, as was often the case anymore, were of Narnia, and how the stars there shone brighter and the moon seemed to possess more of an ethereal glow.<p>

He didn't feel much of anything these days. Being sent away from Narnia, and never to return (at least, not in this lifetime), was more than he could bear. How Peter had coped as well as he had when _he'd_ first returned was a mystery to Edmund.

Peter…yet another reason for Edmund's unease and vague discontentment. Being in Narnia without Peter had been unnerving for him. He'd always looked to Peter for guidance, gladly following wherever his brother led. Though Edmund was an independent person by nature, his latest trip to Narnia had impressed upon him how much he depended on Peter.

_Oh, Peter,_ Edmund thought, curling further in on himself in an attempt to contain the pain threatening to overwhelm him.

The next moment, there was a sudden shift in the mattress and Edmund found himself encased in a very familiar pair of arms.

"Peter!" he sobbed, turning so as to be better able to hug his long-absent brother.

"It's alright, Ed, I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. Shh, it's alright," Peter whispered over and over again into Edmund's ear, all the while rubbing soothing circles into his back, a pattern that had been set in stone many years before.

"How…?" Edmund's voice trailed off, unsure of what exactly he wanted to ask Peter.

"Lucy wrote and told me of your adventures in Narnia. She urged me to come home, saying that you needed me. So, I finished my studies with the professor as soon as was possible and took the fastest train here."

After a slight pause, Peter said in his gentlest voice, "What I want to know is why I had to hear about Narnia from Lucy rather than from you."

"I—I didn't know what to say," said Edmund, voice muffled from having his head buried in Peter's chest. "You can't imagine what it was like…being in Narnia without you, Pete. I was lost. It felt as though a part of me were missing. And now, I can never go back."

"Don't worry, Ed. Aslan won't desert us. He's here, you know, in England. He's everywhere. You aren't alone."

"I'm not worried," said Edmund. "I trust Him and that He has a plan for us. It doesn't make it any easier, though, knowing that I can never go back. Narnia's been my home for many years. I've lived there so long that I don't know how to live in England anymore."

"It takes time, Ed, but you'll manage," Peter assured him. "Isn't that what you told me once?"

"Yes, I seem to recall having a conversation along those lines with you," Edmund said, giving a slight laugh, although the situation being referred to was less than pleasant to either brother.

While they'd been talking, Peter had been crushing Edmund to his chest. He'd missed him, more than words could ever say, and he sought to make up for lost time by practically molding their bodies together. Having grown accustomed to ruling as one over Narnia, Peter acting as Edmund's sword and Edmund as Peter's shield (much to Peter's consternation), separating for any length of time was extremely difficult and caused pain to both brothers. The solution, they had found, was, once reunited, to never leave the other's side and to remain as close as possible. This behavior had resulted in much teasing while they'd been at school, Peter even earning the nickname of 'Mother Hen,' though neither boy minded very much.

Having cleared the initial hurdle—Edmund's feelings regarding his permanent departure from Narnia—Peter made himself comfortable while positioning Edmund next to him rather than on top of him, determined that his brother would get a good night's sleep. Having spent many years in conference with Edmund, Peter knew instinctively that tomorrow's conversation was going to be draining and that they would both need their strength.

"Good night, Ed," he whispered, arms tightening protectively around his little brother. "We'll talk more in the morning. Sleep well."

"G'night, Pete," Edmund replied sleepily as he stifled a yawn, Peter's presence having relaxed him more than he'd been in months. "I love you."

Peter smiled into the darkened room. "I love you too," he said quietly back, but Edmund was already asleep.

* * *

><p>The next morning, Peter woke first, immediately taking note of how the sun shone through the curtains and fell on Edmund's face, giving him the appearance of an angel. A short while later, Edmund awoke as well, blinking blearily as his eyes adjusted to the sudden light. A lazy grin stretched across his face when he remembered where he was and who he was with.<p>

Edmund met Peter's gaze and positively beamed up at him, thrilled to have his brother home, safe and sound.

"You're here," he whispered breathily. "Then last night wasn't a dream."

"No, Ed, it wasn't," Peter assured him. "I'm really here, and I'm home for good."

"I've missed you, Pete," Edmund confessed after a few moments of basking in the feel of Peter's arms around him, "more than words can say."

"I missed you too, Ed," said Peter soothingly. "But we're together now."

Laying for a few more minutes in close proximity to one another, Peter finally sat up, pulling Edmund with him.

"Are you ready to talk?" he asked.

Edmund nodded, though he sat in silence for some time, staring off into space.

"At first, it was so good to be back that I almost managed to forget that you weren't with us. When we were pulled aboard the 'Dawn Treader,' Caspian introduced us as Narnia's King and Queen of Old. Pete, you know I've never cared for the formalities of court, all the bowing and scraping. But when everyone knelt at hearing who we were, I have to say—the recognition felt good, and was a welcome change from how I'd been treated here."

"Understandable," Peter intoned. "I remember how it felt when we arrived at Aslan's How, and all the centaurs raised their swords to us, like in the old days of our reign. I felt as though I were King again, rather than just a kid."

Edmund went on. "Once we had changed into some dry clothes, Caspian brought us to his cabin to explain the purpose behind his voyage. It was then that I felt your absence most acutely, for Lucy immediately began exclaiming over her cordial, as well as Susan's gift of the bow and arrows. I was reminded of where _I'd_ been when you were all receiving your gifts from Father Christmas."

"Oh, Ed," whispered Peter, placing an arm around Edmund's shoulder and drawing him close, understanding dawning at the realization of what his brother had been forced to go through alone.

"And then," Edmund continued, voice slightly choked from holding back tears, "Caspian offered me your sword. When I refused, he, instead, gave me my torch that I left in Narnia last time."

Peter chuckled slightly at that, before sobering and saying, "Why would you refuse my sword? You're next in line, even before Caspian. It would make the most sense for you to have it. I, certainly, cannot imagine trusting it into anyone else's hands but yours."

"That's just it, Pete," said Edmund. "I may be next in line after you, but that sword is yours alone. It was your gift from Father Christmas upon arriving in Narnia, given to be used against the White Witch in battle. He gave that sword to you, specifically."

"I've trusted you to carry it in my place before, Ed. Why would this time be any different?"

"Because, Pete, whenever I've carried that sword before, it was until I could place it back in the hands of its rightful owner—you. If I carried it now…," he fell silent, unsure of how to voice what he was thinking.

"It was different this time because I wasn't there. You wouldn't have been carrying it in my defense, is that it?" asked Peter.

"Yes, something like that," Edmund agreed.

"Well, what's done is done. But I would have wanted you to have it. Remember that, Ed."

"I know, Pete." Edmund's smile was still tinged with sadness though. "It was somewhat of a let-down, though, to, first, be offered a sword, and then to receive a torch instead. It felt as though that's all I'd ever be good enough for, as though I'd never deserve anything of my own."

"Never say that, Ed. It's not true. You deserve a _kingdom_ of your own, and more."

Edmund froze, immediately tensing at hearing Peter's choice of words, and recalled a similar conversation with Caspian of how he deserved more than playing second fiddle.

"Besides, that torch has been an effective weapon for you," said Peter in an attempt to lighten the mood that had settled over them.

"That's true," Edmund replied, granting Peter a faint but genuine smile to indicate that his goal had been met. He soon became serious once more though. "But carrying your sword would have been so definite, so final…I couldn't have born the pain that would have come with the realization that you weren't coming back, Peter. It was hard enough as it was…,"

Unable to hold back anymore, Edmund broke down crying, coming completely undone at the thought of being in Narnia without Peter, and, like rubbing salt in a wound, being offered a sword that represented all that Peter stood for—High King and protector of all Narnians and, most importantly, his brother. As such, it had always been his duty to guard Peter, occasionally having to bodily thrust himself between Peter and danger. Nevertheless, he'd taken pride in his brother's accomplishments, while personally choosing to remain on the sidelines, when given the option, rather than claim whatever glory was his. Peter's sword was a symbol of all that and more.

Over the years, Edmund had gone through several emotional breakdowns and was now quick at regaining his composure, sobs instantly quieting. As he continued to tell his story, recounting the slave traders and the Dufflepuds, Peter held on tight and listened intently, wordlessly offering his support and whatever comfort he could.

* * *

><p>"After we left Coriakin's island, we were tossed about at sea by a storm that seemed to never end. The crew was getting anxious, and Lucy, Caspian, and I were plagued by bad dreams."<p>

"What kind of dreams?" asked Peter warily, for he remembered numerous occasions back in Narnia where he'd been woken up by Edmund crying out for him in his sleep.

Edmund briefly closed his eyes, remembering the terror of that night:

"_Come and take him then!" Peter declared, and, rather than raising his sword in defense of Edmund, he roughly shoved his brother into the path of the White Witch._

"_Peter!" Edmund cried out as he fell, looking up at the brother he'd always adored and worshipped. "Why?"_

"_You betrayed me once. What's to stop you from doing so again?" he asked._

"_I love you," Edmund blurted out._

"_Love, ha! A traitor like you wouldn't understand the meaning of such a word," said Peter with a sneer._

"_Peter!" Edmund cried out even as he let himself be dragged away by the Witch's servants._

"_You don't need him, dear," the Witch whispered seductively, back in the safety of her icy palace. "Pledge yourself to me and I'll make you my king."_

"_NO!" Edmund yelled, fighting to free his arms from the chains that held him prisoner in the Witch's dungeon. "I don't want to be king without Peter."_

"_Edmund," she said in what was obviously meant to be a soothing, comforting tone, "Your brother cares only for himself. That was why he was so easily able to sacrifice you—it was for his own personal gain. You mean nothing to him."_

"_No," Edmund panted, his energy drained from struggling against the Witch's hold on him. "I don't care whether Peter wants me or not. I love him more than my own life, and I'll fight you until my dying day."_

"_Have it your way then," She replied, a threatening note entering her voice. "You'll soon wish you'd cooperated with me, though. Guards!"_

_Two of her minions entered the cell._

"_You know what to do," she said._

_The guards nodded, grinning evilly as they approached Edmund, who did his best to maintain a defiant expression on his face, even upon catching a glimpse of the whip in their hands. They released him from his binds only to strip him of his shirt and begin striking every inch of him that they could reach._

_Imagining that his brother, the one who loved him unconditionally, stood before him, Edmund did his best to keep silent. Soon, though, the pain was too much to bear and he began to scream and cry and beg for mercy._

_It was with a start that Edmund awoke on the 'Dawn Treader' to the sight of Jadis standing before him, beseeching him to join her. He drew his sword, only to discover that she was merely a figment of his imagination brought on by the green mist that seemed to be following them on their journey._

_Lucy's entrance calmed him and gave him that much-needed connection to Peter, for Lucy had always looked up to Peter in the same way that Edmund himself did. He settled down for a peaceful night's sleep, Lucy wrapped tightly in his arms, Peter resting safely in his heart._

"Lion's Mane!" Peter sobbed as he crushed Edmund to his chest.

Edmund let Peter have his release, taking the tear stains on his shirt in stride, seeing as he'd done the same to Peter more times than he cared to remember.

When Peter was significantly calmer, he spoke, "You have to believe me, Ed. That would never have happened. I would rather she have taken me than let her come close enough to lay a hand on you."

"Shh, Pete, I know," whispered Edmund, rubbing his brother's arms and back in the same soothing manner that Peter did for him. "I think it was part of the mist's magic—revealing to us our worst nightmares. But I knew all the time that you would protect me with your life, just as I would for you."

Peter's response was to pull Edmund into his lap and hold him tight, rocking him like he would a small child. Though both boys—almost men—were growing in size and spirit, neither minded the humility that accompanied such an action, if anything, reveling in the comfort such contact brought.

They sat in silence for several minutes, enjoying the peace of mind they both felt at being reunited with their other half.

"I suppose I should let you get on with your story," said Peter at last.

Edmund shot him a grateful smile before speaking: "Eventually, we reached an island, seemingly deserted. Upon further investigation, Caspian, Lucy, and I found a pool, with a statue submerged in the water. It was Lord Restimar, and he'd been turned to gold!"

Peter gave a gasp at hearing this.

"It was horrible," Edmund continued, shuddering slightly as the memories overwhelmed him. He knew what was coming and he was ashamed, for he'd always valued Peter's good opinion and what he'd have to tell him would destroy any progress they'd made since the first anniversary of the Witch's defeat, a point in time at which they'd acquired true forgiveness, healing past wounds and causing the formidable bond they now shared to develop.

"Let's hope his transformation was painless," said Peter, blissfully unaware of Edmund's inner turmoil.

Edmund fell silent. How could he reveal to Peter, who he idolized, his own selfish greed and subconscious desire to rule alone?

"Ed, what is it?" asked Peter with trepidation, who sensed that the silence that had fallen over his brother did not bode well for whatever was to come.

"Something happened, Pete," he began quietly, "Something spooky, like an enchantment of some kind, affecting both me and Caspian."

Peter held him, gently rubbing his arms and back in a soothing motion, silently offering his support and urging Edmund to continue.

"I dipped a shell in the water and watched it turn to gold. I started going on about how rich Lucy and I would be, and how no one could tell us what to do. When Caspian said that we couldn't take anything out of Narnia, I turned on him. I said I wasn't one of his subjects and that I was tired of being overshadowed—first by you, then by him. I said that I deserved a kingdom of my own…I deserved to rule, whereas Caspian didn't because he doubted his own abilities." Here, Edmund gave a shuddering gasp at having shown the worst of himself to Peter. "Caspian and I started fighting. We'd drawn our swords and begun to duel when Lucy stepped in between us. Unwilling to harm her, we stopped to listen. She berated us for giving in to temptation and said that we should leave immediately."

Edmund was then overcome, once again, by great heaving sobs. Panting, though, he managed to say, "I didn't mean it, Peter. I loved ruling alongside you. I never felt less for not being the High King. It was the cavern, working its magic on us, that made me say those things. But I didn't mean it, Peter, I didn't mean any of it."

Collapsing back against his brother, Edmund allowed his tears to run their course, knowing that he'd be the better for having cried himself dry.

Dimly, he was aware of Peter's arms wrapped tightly around him, holding him up, rather than pushing him away, and rubbing his back in soothing circles, a familiar gesture that meant more to Edmund than anyone would ever know. It signified Peter's forgiveness, understanding, acceptance—and Edmund thanked Aslan daily for giving him such a brother.

"It's alright, Eddy, let it out," whispered Peter, over and over again.

The use of his old nickname, from when they were children, sent Edmund into another fit of hysterics that only lessened upon feeling Peter press a gentle kiss to his brow. Gradually, Edmund regained his composure, at last sitting up and facing Peter, shame-facedly.

"I'm sorry, Pete. I know I'm too old to be making such a scene."

"Nonsense, Eddy," was Peter's instant reply. "You're never too old to show what you're feeling. I'd be more worried if you bottled everything up inside."

Edmund shot him a timid smile before opening his mouth to speak.

Peter was quicker though. "Eddy, you said it yourself. The cavern put you and Caspian under a spell. Neither of you were responsible for your actions. I certainly don't blame you for anything that was said or done."

"But what if the cavern's magic was in getting us to speak our minds, to share our true feelings?"

"I doubt that was the case. If you'd ever _truly_ wanted a kingdom of your own, all you would have had to do was stand aside in battle and let me fall, rather than constantly risk yourself for me as you did."

"That was because you were my brother and my king," Edmund replied instinctively. "I would have been failing in my duty to my family and my country if I were to let you die. But more importantly, I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if there were a chance to save you and I didn't take it."

Edmund stopped speaking to look up at Peter, whose chest was shaking with suppressed laughter.

"See what I mean?" he asked. "You didn't even have to think. Your defense of me was natural. Does that sound like someone who would secretly wish for my demise?"

"No, I guess not," said Edmund, after taking a moment's pause to think over this new discovery. He continued, lowering his voice slightly, "You were rarely out of my thoughts, Peter. When Eustace, in his dragon form, carried me away and I called out to Lucy, I was really calling for you. If I was going to die, I wanted you to be the last thing I saw, if only in my mind."

"Oh, Ed, I'm always with you, right here," said Peter quietly, placing a hand over Edmund's heart.

"I know, Pete," said Edmund with a watery laugh, fighting back a lump in his throat that had formed as a result of Peter's words.

Slowly, Peter raised his hands to Edmund's face, gently brushing away his brother's tears with the pads of his thumbs. He brought their heads together, foreheads touching, and looked deep into Edmund's eyes, which had always been the portal to his soul. There, he saw unconditional love tempered with understanding, for, though there would be times when each would stumble, there was the unspoken promise of always being there to help the other pick himself back up and continue on their way, together.

"When we reached Dark Island," Edmund continued, "there was a moment, while readying ourselves for what was to come, that you seemed nearer to me than ever before. It was when Caspian said that he thought of me as his brother while helping me to secure my armor. It felt just like before, Pete, when we were in Narnia the first time. And when Caspian addressed the crew, it was exactly how you used to address our troops, with everyone cheering and yelling 'For Narnia!' and 'For Aslan!' "

"Those were the good old days," said Peter with a chuckle.

"Caspian gave me your sword," Edmund confessed quietly. "And, I have to say, I couldn't have made it without that part of you with me."

"Why is that?" Peter asked encouragingly.

"The Island contained pure evil, showing us our darkest thoughts and deepest desires. The Witch appeared to me, urging me to take her hand and let her make me her king. Without your sword to guide me, I would have been lost. It was you who spoke, through me, telling her that she was gone, that Aslan had killed her. Before fading away, though, she said that she would always live on in my mind! I found myself doubting everything I had ever accomplished since her downfall."

"You shouldn't doubt yourself, Ed. You're stronger than that. You're stronger than _Her_, for she lost her hold on you at Beruna, the moment you destroyed her wand."

"I realize that, now that I'm with you. Needless to say, I was grateful when it was all over. When the clouds covering Dark Island cleared, we found ourselves at the End of the World—Aslan's Country. Pete, I saw it. There was a continuous wave separating the beach we were standing on from His land, but I could still see the sky, and trees, and mountains. It was beautiful, and filled me with such awe that I could scarcely breathe."

"I'm sure it was magnificent, Ed," replied Peter, squeezing his shoulder companionably. "It's even more wonderful when you find Aslan here, in our world."

"Have you really found Him, Pete?" Edmund asked at last, having been mulling over Peter's words.

"Yes, Ed, I have. And it's glorious to know that nothing needs to change, for He is all around us. All we have to do is believe, and to have faith in Him."

"He said, before we left, that he is known by a different name here. What is it?"

"You must discover that on your own, Ed. Would Aslan wish for me to give you the answers?"

"No. He'd want me to learn for myself, because His lessons would have more meaning that way."

"That's right. You'll find Him, all in good time."

"Will you be with me, Pete?" asked Edmund worriedly.

"Every step of the way, I promise," Peter vowed, smiling down at his brother reassuringly.

Edmund was relieved, for when Peter made a promise, he stood by that promise until he had seen it through to the end.

* * *

><p>And when the end came, in the form of a train crash, neither brother was alone, nor were they afraid, for they had each other.<p>

Aslan's Country was just as stupendous as that brief glimpse had been many years ago, if not more so.

Edmund now understood Peter's earlier words, and he was glad that he'd found Aslan in England before entering His country in Narnia. His life's journey, and the adventures he'd had, held more meaning for him now, more wonder, upon learning of the sacrifice and immense suffering He had undergone for the sake of mankind.

Edmund had rid himself of any lingering bitterness and now all that remained was love—love for Aslan, love for Lucy, even love for Susan. Most of all, though, his heart was full of love for Peter, who was both a brother and king, and would be for eternity and beyond.


End file.
